Wednesday, February 24, 2010

Why I am Still Hurt ?

AIGO >< i dont understand this feeling >< I thought I moved on, I thought Im over her.But why I am feeling Like This ? :(

She's a girl from the other university school in korea, She's Famous and Pretty, I met her just when im in Junior, Weve been good friends, I feel comfortable when Im wit her and Misses Her everytime shes not around >< We talk like weve know each othr very well, Our hearts are closely bonned , we love taling and hanging out togther~

Since time come that I realize Im having special feeling for her, But since Im not the type of person who enters relationship in a short period of time, I continue being her special friend and I havent court her for almost8 months, But through my own simple ways im tryng my best to Let her know and let her feel that she's special and I love her so much.

Weve call each other as " MY OINK " cause we both love playng with pigs its weird but we love it . No boys court him cause of thinkng that im her boyfriend, and no girls also try to get close to me cause of thnkng that were in relationship.
weve been enjoyng each others company, Even if were not in relationship were acting Like were really couples, Telling I LOVE YOUS to each other, going out togther,and even having dinner with her parents.

But one day come,ive done somthng hurt her most, I need to go to Taipei for my medical train , it almost take a year. but i havent tell her the real reason,
cause it would make her feel that shes not special It would hurt her for sure.
If she knows i can choose ,to stay wit her or go to taipei for my study.

Ive been reasoning that im going to meet my net girlfriend in taiwan so i need to go , I know shes hurt. but she dont know its killing me more inside, Hurting her is my Biggest regret ><

We dont hav communication for almost one year, But eventhough, I still visit all her accounts, everythng. her Msn and her sites. Im missing her so much >< but what hurt me most i cant even tell her how much i missing her..>< And im thinking if she aso think of me ? Do she miss me like i Do ?

Destiny is playing with me I think, All of memories that reminds me of her, always plays on my mind, all our memories always flashback,

2 Week past. shes dating someone,Im gettng information from her friends, and they said . Shes fine and now slowly moving on with her new boyfriend.
Seeing their videos and pictures together Killing me so much, Well even that
Im thankful that she easily find someone who can take care of her, im thankful that shes happy now, but Im HURT ! T_T really..

After my med train. Ive went back to Korea, I hvnt got any information about her, Since i was busy aso in my studies, and operations,I hvnt think of her so much I think now im slowly moving on. I visit her page again, I saw pics of her and her boyfriend. well now i can say im not hurt so much, AIGO! thanks i think im now move on....

But one Day, February 24,2010 ~ Im walking and going to our Univ parking area, my car was thr so i need to walk through the front campus,suddenly I see someone really familiar. my heat beats so fast, Im thinking maybe i was just imagining..

I SAW HER..i was like SHOCK and Ive been stop from my walking, I saw her going out from a car, followed by a guy whos familiar wit me aso, Its HER AND HER BOYFRIEND.:<

I saw the guy assisting her from going out , He holds her hand tightly, causing me to feel like im killing myself,

I thought she dont know me anymore, But since she look at me straightly to my Eyes.
I know everythng happens to us is still fresh for her, Her boyfriend say greetings to me . and i was like STOP for almost 5 or 6 mins . I just look at her., But she cant look at me now closely. she just bow down ,I respond to him, saying : Annyeong.Banggap Sup Nee da~ with a shaking voice and im hiding the teary eyes.
But he said theyr in hurry, so He just said goodbye. But because of i think my deep emotions im not able to replied him.

They walk away from me, but i know shes watching me behind, I still cant move, I was like Out of my Mind, Till nowww~~! i dont know what im Feeling :(
i thought Ive move on I thought Its over I thought Everythng is Gone and Done :<
But why I am feeling Thiiisssssssss!! ><

IM SO HURRRRT ! reallyyyy !