Why I am Still Hurt ?

AIGO >< i dont understand this feeling >< I thought I moved on, I thought Im over her.But why I am feeling Like This ? :(

She's a girl from the other university school in korea, She's Famous and Pretty, I met her just when im in Junior, Weve been good friends, I feel comfortable when Im wit her and Misses Her everytime shes not around >< We talk like weve know each othr very well, Our hearts are closely bonned , we love taling and hanging out togther~

Since time come that I realize Im having special feeling for her, But since Im not the type of person who enters relationship in a short period of time, I continue being her special friend and I havent court her for almost8 months, But through my own simple ways im tryng my best to Let her know and let her feel that she's special and I love her so much.

Weve call each other as " MY OINK " cause we both love playng with pigs its weird but we love it . No boys court him cause of thinkng that im her boyfriend, and no girls also try to get close to me cause of thnkng that were in relationship.
weve been enjoyng each others company, Even if were not in relationship were acting Like were really couples, Telling I LOVE YOUS to each other, going out togther,and even having dinner with her parents.

But one day come,ive done somthng hurt her most, I need to go to Taipei for my medical train , it almost take a year. but i havent tell her the real reason,
cause it would make her feel that shes not special It would hurt her for sure.
If she knows i can choose ,to stay wit her or go to taipei for my study.

Ive been reasoning that im going to meet my net girlfriend in taiwan so i need to go , I know shes hurt. but she dont know its killing me more inside, Hurting her is my Biggest regret ><

We dont hav communication for almost one year, But eventhough, I still visit all her accounts, everythng. her Msn and her sites. Im missing her so much >< but what hurt me most i cant even tell her how much i missing her..>< And im thinking if she aso think of me ? Do she miss me like i Do ?

Destiny is playing with me I think, All of memories that reminds me of her, always plays on my mind, all our memories always flashback,

2 Week past. shes dating someone,Im gettng information from her friends, and they said . Shes fine and now slowly moving on with her new boyfriend.
Seeing their videos and pictures together Killing me so much, Well even that
Im thankful that she easily find someone who can take care of her, im thankful that shes happy now, but Im HURT ! T_T really..


After my med train. Ive went back to Korea, I hvnt got any information about her, Since i was busy aso in my studies, and operations,I hvnt think of her so much I think now im slowly moving on. I visit her page again, I saw pics of her and her boyfriend. well now i can say im not hurt so much, AIGO! thanks i think im now move on....

But one Day, February 24,2010 ~ Im walking and going to our Univ parking area, my car was thr so i need to walk through the front campus,suddenly I see someone really familiar. my heat beats so fast, Im thinking maybe i was just imagining..

I SAW HER..i was like SHOCK and Ive been stop from my walking, I saw her going out from a car, followed by a guy whos familiar wit me aso, Its HER AND HER BOYFRIEND.:<

I saw the guy assisting her from going out , He holds her hand tightly, causing me to feel like im killing myself,

I thought she dont know me anymore, But since she look at me straightly to my Eyes.
I know everythng happens to us is still fresh for her, Her boyfriend say greetings to me . and i was like STOP for almost 5 or 6 mins . I just look at her., But she cant look at me now closely. she just bow down ,I respond to him, saying : Annyeong.Banggap Sup Nee da~ with a shaking voice and im hiding the teary eyes.
But he said theyr in hurry, so He just said goodbye. But because of i think my deep emotions im not able to replied him.

They walk away from me, but i know shes watching me behind, I still cant move, I was like Out of my Mind, Till nowww~~! i dont know what im Feeling :(
i thought Ive move on I thought Its over I thought Everythng is Gone and Done :<
But why I am feeling Thiiisssssssss!! ><

IM SO HURRRRT ! reallyyyy !

Saengil Chuka Hamnida !!

Before the PARTY ~ just go around with JASON CHUI ~

Its my Late blog for my Birthday ~ well It seems an ordinary day , no one of my friends here in korea prepare something, I was like " did u forgot my birthday guys?"
still ~ i wait for their actions, its 12 Noon but still they dont greet me >< whats wrong with thm ? I think thy forget it ady.. i just forgot bout it . Maybe their just too busy to remember it.. il just celebrate it alone .

but then, Jason Chui invite me for a club party, He said he was bored, and other of my group friends are busy with their works ,so i go with him.Just two of us even it seems bored, Kyaaa~ I still go surely I'l be more bored if i just stay here ,

12 MIDNIGHT ~ were about to arrive in our favorite club, It seems ordinary clubbing time, Lot of cars outside. lot of people inside , shouting and cheering,
Now i thnk that evryone is having fun and just forgoten my birthday, SADS but il just enjoy my night hr.

As of entering , I was like AIGO ~ pretty House bunnys in here, I think This Club will having a Special Playboy Party this Night ~ Lucky Me il been dreaming to see a party like this kyahahaha~~:))

Me and Jason are sitting just beside the stage, but a min, all the bunnys starting to come and play in our table, HO HO HO ~ what are they doing ? is it free ? or what? kyahahahaXD i was just a bit curious cause all the sexy bunnys wear thyr mask.

sooon ~ they get it off , and i was like, teary eyes cause its my girls friends,cousins and girls classmates all of them just effort to dance and wear such a mini dress, kyahahahaXD

they all giv speeches and i was amaze cause i didnt expect a party, not just party
but a playboy party wit my closest girls friends,:) i was really blessed and thankful to hav friends like them ~

an hour past, theirs a loud sound coming, it was a seducing dance number, HO HO~ they come boys who wear just boxers, and its my SKB BOYS my BOYS FRIENDS since middle school, theyr all complete and im so glad, its been 2 years since we dont go clubbng togther,

It was my Best Birthday Everr ~ even if i dont get any greet from my mom ><
We do our traditional Lightning of the Smoke togethr ~~^^

and beside of that WANT TO THANK all my NET FRIENDS who greet me
even if i dont know u personally,but still u make me feel
im much special to all of you ! so Blessed with that

and even those who are not close to me still GREET!
All of you make my BIRTHDAY VERY SPECIAL ~~!!

It would be surely added to my Memorable Happiest Moments!^^

All About Dae Hyun Lim Jeong ~

Well, think most of my facebook friends know me as Hyun, Dae, known me as a talkative facebook user thats why one time i was like banned by facebook admnistrator for talking too much, some known me as flirt, some known me as girls friends collector, ( cause i got lot of girls friends than boys i dunno why ~ boys are afraid of me i think kyahahahah~ ) i thnk i only got 3 active boys friends in facebook really ~^^ sweear can. whats wrong wit boys ? i dont bite :) LOL~

so i think its one of a evidence that im much talkative isnt it ? :)) so here it goes.
(sorry for my bad english not so good lahh >< )

I'm Dae Hyun Lim Jeong, im the only child of my parents , my omma is a chinese
and my appa is korean :D my life is such a boring one so sure you'll be bored also
if u read this kyahaha~ i just write it cause... ive nothng to do, ><

My appa (Dad) got second family , he ady got 1 child from his second wife so considered its my step sister , he leave me and my mom since I was 1 year old. so i live wit my mom only, my appa is a good doctor, one of famous doctor here in anyang seoul ~ so i must be proud aso ^^

I live my life witout the love of my appa ~ i use to attend school activities alone , who use to be wit my dad, but since hes not around i need to go alone. aigoo pitty me,. kyahahah~ still i got my mom so fight !

mom was like so affected when dad leave us she seems she lost her half life,
sheve been stayng in her room evrytme, she even got no time for me
so its like that " IM LIVING ALONE " :))

i only see my dad during weekends, i go to his clinic and try to observe since he want me to be a doctor ^^ even if i dont want >< still i support him, just a sign of respect and to let him know that he still hav a son, he still hav ME :)

ive been even thankful that i got problem in my heart , a lil hole in it, so i need to go to the doctor , to check me, Aigo ~ thanks god i got this kind of illnes
still i can communicate with my appa~ kyahahah^^ silly me, but thats my happiness~^^

A year befor i go to University, My appa died cause of his illness,my mom was so affected its like thyr still living togther silly mom hahahah! or mybe shes still loving appa even they hav theyr seperate lives.:<

Bcause of that mom decided to stay in here own place CHINA so she can slowly mov on and enjoy her life thr wit his sisters and brothers,

but then i decided to take medicine doctor , i decided to stay here in korea with my computer, my wallet without money :)) , and our house, i live alone ><
well i use to be alone ever since, so its not new to me :))


and now, as of my writing im still alone, Infront of my Computer, my wallet with no money in my packet, inside my messy room ~


Thats all i can share hope it help you to know me better, That im not just a Happy go lucky guy ! that still I got my own story ~ even if its boring kyahahah~:))

Till here. ~

Signing
Dae Hyun ♥

How long Can you wait ?

Omono~ they always say they'll stay forever with me, that they can wait , until the end of time. until its the right time,but everythng has an end right ? everythng has an limit, so i'll just wait till you say your time and you had enough :(

everyone just " COME AND GO "
Aigo i love making blogs now, thyr right it make me feel better expressing my thoughts and feelings through blogging .

Im Ugly Still love me ? kyahaXD

I usually called by many people as " handsome , Cute , Kawaii, Ulzzang and any words that may be called to a pretty person, well i dont know why people treat me like that,I just question myself one time, Do they love me cause im good to them or they just love cause they thought i got perfect face, what if i dont have this face ? do they still want to be my friend ? kyahahah ~ laah -.- just acting weird .

Am i naturally sweet or such a f*ckin Flirt !

So here i am, in front of my loppy ~ thnkng of what should i do, ~ im not use to mke blogs or tell anythng bout my life cause it seems stupid , bt some of my friends suggest to make one cause , it maye help me to express and make my feeling better, as what they said ~ i hope it really works ><>well now i feel so handsome cause im stuck by two girls lol . >< but the issue is not that :( i even wish bfor to exprience loving by many girls it seems really cool in boys part :(
but now ? i hate it :( i hate the feeling really ><>< Aigoooo ! Am i acting so over acting or just am i really affected ? ><><><>and she reminds me of someone since i first met her, i make all the stupid thngs just to get her attention , silly me . and i can show my true attitude to her, being silly and crazy i lov her cause she do understands me
well the othr one, seems to be nice also, evn we just met she express and show how much i mean to her, and i also got crush on her omoono ~!! I LOVE THEM BOTH ~ and i dont want to lose her and her ><or my dcisiion just fit ?
maybe im the one who need to go away from them, to make things right .
i dont know i really dont knooooooooow~ >< and now im feeling so guilty and such a heartbreaker, :(im such a F*CKNG SLUT ~!
need to accept it, need to let go and need to move on ><