E N D

Its 4:41 in th morning but im still AWAKE
just get back from the club hoping that il get DRUNK
and forget everythng for a while, but IM NOT
really IM NOT TOTALLY DRUNK or mybe is this because
drinks cannot defeat my PAINS ? :))

so where should i go now? everyone of my friends are DRUNK
everyone in my phone are sleeping , some people in FB are still awake
but i CANT TALK TO THEM, really , everytime i read those messages
like " what happen to U and TASH? ya know its more killing me><
it killing me like deathhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

everythngs still fresh on me, those time people mesge me and says" PERFECT COUPLE"
" YOU LOOK GOOD TOGETHER," "YOU REALL LOVE EACH OTHER" and everythng~
i just cant imagine that EVERYTHING ENDS UP NOW.

i want to ACT NORMAL, like nothings happen
i want to talk to evryone , SAY HELLO AND SMILE,
but i cant == seeing evryone's CONCERNS about me
make me more HURT and seeing her OLD MESSGES KILLS ME ><

im just thinkng of our "PLANS BEFORE" plans tht well gonna soon make,
dreams that gonna be fulfill soon, but everythngs GONE NOW :(

im thnngkng if when il start deletng those blogpost ABOUT US
since i know her future bf gonna see it, and misunderstood so i better
start removing it == but how to? IT KILLS MEEEEEEEEEEE

aigo :( or am i just thhingkng too much ?
kyaa~ mianhe to all person who read this
ya its nonsense but i just try to ease those pains..

so ya. il need to accept everything
be off now~ GOING SOMEWHERE, but whr ? aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa just everywhre
il just follow my feet lol..

i wish someone can stop me from crying :)

C H A N G E

its March 18,2010 ~ m in my last class, ady send message to her~.
way home. thrs a car hit my motorbike, got head injury and toes,
a drunk girl driv the car~ i evn not able to talk to her
she ady left whn im awake in hosptal~.

i first saw yumi and kman whn i open my two eyes~ thyr both
my close friends so thyr my first visitors,
i ask thm to tell my yeojachingu tht i cant go online
for couple of days or mybe 3, i just dun wnt her
to worried bout me==. i thnk thy did ~.

i feel so bored stayng thr~ better its just 2 days short of time
but seems a year for me ~ ><. i ask my friends to brng my loptop thr
secretly since its not allowd for me to do too much thngs, dctor said
must rest rest rest sleep sleep and sleep~ aigoo il kill myself if i do that!
i got my loptop thr, stil can open and check my girl. i saw hr change
her status, and now i thnk she ady knew it~. dun wnt her to worry
bfor sndng her msg~ i check her msn, her formspring, her blogspot,
her twitter~ well almst all of her site~. im stalkingXD

and i was like F*CK! whats ths? i bet someone flirt on her
and she flirt aso == what the. i got my head so cmplicated
thnkng wht is it ? what hppen? is it true? what should i do?
im not able to msg hr since i was angry,
better go off and rest ==

next day~ still in hspital. evn it hurts i still got courage to check her
well ya shes still my girlfriend and i still care and ofcours i love her.
i open her fb, but still~ its still thr :)).and now gettng worst
hes callng her " BABE " what the~ im jst actng silly or should i get really damn
jelous ? or should i call othr girls " BABE " also ~ >< aaaaaaaaa hate this~ and nw my friends wnt me not to go online ><
and ya i thnk its the best so i cant see more worst cnversationsXD
dun wnt to ruin anythngdun wnt to scold people ~ dun wnt to argue wit her
better go off again ==


now now now~ back home
wkwkwkwk..
still thnkng bout it~
i cant help but just think think and think
i ask my friends wht should i do
thy keep sayng, better giv up
and dun go online.~ well ya
i thnk its better but aaaaaaaaaaaaa~
im missing herrrr so much!
i dun care if i see much worst of tht conversation
so ya~ fightinggg! AJAAA


i post smthng in my status ~ like
" everything in her change most of it is her "
well i dun wnt her to thnk bout it
so i choose nt to msg her~
i post video of stevie hoang il be fine
cause i lyk it ~ and i thnk she do aso~

Still can remmber whn she post tht video
in her wall~ and
song fit on my feelngs so ya~
actng emotional again XD.



but aigoooooooooooo><
shes spammng me ==
thnk she worried now
relax hyun ~ dun talk to her
your angry to her ryt?
she dun know wht u feel
dont talk dont talk~

but aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!
i cant help
so ya~ message
her just one last messg!
just short message
just let her know
that im fine no need to think
no need to worry~ IM FINNEE REALLYY!

she reply~
i didnt notice that i keep replyng herrr
:OOOO what thee~
and nw im i cnt control my emotion
m i cryng? :O

i dun care wht everyone say
i dun care of anyone
i jst care bout her her her her~

MIANHE If i hurt you ==
if i act so silly~
i just cnt help evrythng ==

ya i love you ~ i always do
dun thnk tht i stop it
even a second ~
ive always love you~.
ya know it .

난 내 여자 친구를 아주 많이 사랑 ~ 난 그녀가 너무 날 사랑 희망 -_-

I aways receive some messages , rumors, chat text
and everything about our relationhp , ARE WE THAT FAMOUS ? ~ lolXD
they keep sending me like " your relationship wont work "
then i keep asking whyd you say so ? thy simply answer " cause your
in LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIP " is that so? i thnk that reason
are just for low people ---. mianhe for speaking and reactng ,
but arrrg -- it annoys me, cant u please just dont mind us
and get your own life ?~.

one more question i aways receiv is the annoyng one
" she dont love you why you still togthr?"
f*CK ~ howd u know? r u two in relationshp aso? oh cmmon ~ ANU SALI PEOPLE ~.

well yaa ~ some of thr words ar true ~ we dont talk too much
we dont talk like whole day whole night , ~ but i know in me
i love her for real ~, and aso the way she do,

mkay mkay~ let me just put it like she really dun love
me , just wht some ppl say like shes just playng
oh well ~ who cres? your not the one whol gonna be hurt
its me ~ ME ME ME , so no worries mkay?
wont past th heataches to everyone , i wont spread it out ^^.

you got your own life ne --? i got mine too XD
so foccus on yours mkay ? ^^

My Girl , My Babe , My Yeojachinguu , My Tash ~

I thnk everyone knows about her, everyone knows that She's my girl
and she's MINE ! only MINE~ so dun try to get her away from me even flirt her~
or else i wont hesitate to KILL YOU! == and pokes u right in your face ~

I just wnt to blog somethng about her, not just because she's my girlfrind,
well yea ~ it counts but the main reason is that im amaze of her~

so here it goes ~^^
I met this girl ~ just hr in facebook, in INTERNET world, im busy replyng to everyone's
wall post in my profile, well i can say im really friendly though ne~ Lol.
so thrs someone named NATASHA LEE snd me wall post~,
my first empression was quiet not good. i thought shs some knd of strict and
mean, aaa~ mybe some say tht also, bcause of hr face shes not too innocent
isnt it~? kyahahaha~XD. lol. but bhalf of thaT~ i got some little affction on her~
i got crush ~ no one can blame me , shes pretty !

So we start replyng each othrs wall~and now i notice that my frst mpression is wronG~
she is so cool and easy to b with ~^^. i quickly catch the oppurtunity ~ she said shes 22 , shes older thn me, so she suggest i must call her " noona" well NO NO NO~
i dun wnt, ~ i dun wnt to call my crush " noona " so i thnk its now my time to flirt ~ LOL , kyahaha~XD well nee, i said just call me anythng u wnt ,and i call u the same way too~ i suggest some sweet call signs, but it ends up to this sweet remarkble sign ~ its " BABE " well i like it cause shes only th one m callng that way ~ SWEAR!


and now im feeling shes havng fun tlkng wit me ~ so i was like bit proud and feelng HappY~^^ lol,. but thrs someone flirtng her ~ aigooo i was like " i wnt to poke someone" but i wont mention his name hr ~ lol :)) wr good friends so yea~ may the best man wins ~:)) just a week after we talked, she post smthng in her status some like she likes smone ~ i ask her if who is it, wit a bit bad feelings in my hrt ~
cause im expcting its HIM ~ lol. but i ws surprised whn she said ITS ME !

i was not able to thanks her for likng me :)) im not able to make a moment
and make myself blush~ lol i directly said to her ~ " why me? im ugly ! "
cause i knw the othr guy was handsome ~ kyahahahaXD

i didnt beliv her~ i was like, mybe shes just mkng FUN of me cause she know
m kind of intrsted on her -- so i keep tellng to myself ~" controol "
well tht time i aso got some flirtings wit othr girls ~ its not totally flirtng
mybe havng mutual understandinG~

so i cnt get into relationshP~ whle evrythng is not so clear~
and m not so sure of babe's feelngs tht time. i keep visitng and viewing
her sites ~ wondering f shes online, f what shes doing~ in short " STALKING"
~ well i was bit amaze when she post some sweet words for me ~
shes tryng to prov tht she hav real feelngs for me ~
i was like ~ " aigooo is this is it ? "

her works ~ mke my affction and feelngs for her more strong~.
i was lke talkng to hr everyday~ in my sites and in msn.
its like its just ME and HER when wer talkng LOL:))

well slowly ~ its like wer lookng forward to get into
a relationshp, m not so sure of everythng~ so i jst
said to hr, let just take more time and il make
things more clear to us ~ , ( i thnk m just being hard to get)
kyahahahaha~XD she just agree and agree~while m hiding my
wanting to be hr namjachinggu~ i need to do it
so i can make sure of my feelngs and her aso ~
so no one of us will be hurt whn we enter ~ relationshp~


days ~ time ~ minutes run so Fastt~ whn im talkng to her
i dnno why but thts wht i feel~ :))

Its March 02,2010 ~ i ws talkng to her in MSN ~
she said shes checkng my updates, shes checkng
wht im doing when shes not around ~ and she saw
somthng that i did ~ i was like , Liking some girls
picture in facebook~, i thnk she bcme bit jealous
and i just said ~ tht girl just ask me to like her pics ~.
well ne its true ~ its not my purpose to mke her jealous eithr ~.

she was like ~ " why you aways do ~ all thy tell and ask u to ? "
smthng like thaT~ and i can feel tht im being unfair`~
i can feel she did everythng just to prove tht shes tellng the truth
tht she like me ~ tht she loves me ~~^^ ♥

so i said to her tht . m going to giv her aso , what she want ~
i quickly send her Yeojachinggu invitation in faceboOk~,
i ask hr to check it ~ anddd ---

shes like gettng crazy~
but i know shes happy for tht ~ me eithr,
m longing for it ~ m waiting for tht time to come~
and now were so Official~.and nee ~ im so loving it,
i love to own her~ and call her my YEOJACHINGGU~ MY GIRL~ MY BABE~
and MINE ONLY ! ~


and now wer amost ~ 1 week and 2 days ~^^ wel try ~ to make it more long~.
well gonna make it F - O - R - E - V - E - R ! ♥

i usually TEASE her when she say shes pretty ~ Sexy ~ good and BEST
i dun much appreciate her ~ she will just be too proud,:)) LOL
just Look at her pic ~ she look so DEVIL~

but for me ~ shes th ANGEL OF MY HEART & THE ONLY GIRL OF MY LIFE ~.
SARANGHAEYOOOOOO BABEEE! ~ WO AI NIIIIII~~ and

I LOVEEE YOUUU SO MUCHHHHH~ ♥




P.S : SHES NOT MINE SHES NOT MY PROPERTY ~ SHES MY LIFE ,SO PLEASE DONT TAKE IT ! ~ I MIGHT DIE ~^^

자기야 제발 영원히 내

내가 이런 기분이 기대하지 않았다 !! ~

나는 그것을 믿기 힘들 거라는 건 알지만

하지만, 제발 내 곁에 널 사랑해

그래서이 나와 함께 영원히

그리고 난 당신을 사랑하고 당신을 돌봐줄 약속

당신의 사랑이 내 삶이다

자기야 난 널 사랑해 !! ~~ ♥

Yeojachingu ~ ♥

03.02.10

I'm Ady Taken now, well it seems really fast to everyone even me :))
But what is waiting if we know we'll be in relationship sooner.

( She just ask me to do this ) Muahahah:)) Kidding ~
Its My freewill just to show She also means a Lot to me :)

Shes Natasha Lee, My Yeojachinguu . I just met her here in facebook.
In internet world, but i know im loving her for real.And i aso know
she feel the same way, Im lucky cause i got someone like her,
and i hope it will last.

Note for you : Babe I wont promise not TO HURT YOU, and i wont promise
that i WONT LEAVE YOU , cause i might just broke it and cause u too much
pain. All i wnt is to do everything i can ~ My very best ..~ (^^)
just to make you stay with me and make this last long,
Long as what we expected ^^

Saranghaeyo, Saranghamnida, Saranghe Yeojachinggu Aien ~
I Love you ♥

Why I am Still Hurt ?

AIGO >< i dont understand this feeling >< I thought I moved on, I thought Im over her.But why I am feeling Like This ? :(

She's a girl from the other university school in korea, She's Famous and Pretty, I met her just when im in Junior, Weve been good friends, I feel comfortable when Im wit her and Misses Her everytime shes not around >< We talk like weve know each othr very well, Our hearts are closely bonned , we love taling and hanging out togther~

Since time come that I realize Im having special feeling for her, But since Im not the type of person who enters relationship in a short period of time, I continue being her special friend and I havent court her for almost8 months, But through my own simple ways im tryng my best to Let her know and let her feel that she's special and I love her so much.

Weve call each other as " MY OINK " cause we both love playng with pigs its weird but we love it . No boys court him cause of thinkng that im her boyfriend, and no girls also try to get close to me cause of thnkng that were in relationship.
weve been enjoyng each others company, Even if were not in relationship were acting Like were really couples, Telling I LOVE YOUS to each other, going out togther,and even having dinner with her parents.

But one day come,ive done somthng hurt her most, I need to go to Taipei for my medical train , it almost take a year. but i havent tell her the real reason,
cause it would make her feel that shes not special It would hurt her for sure.
If she knows i can choose ,to stay wit her or go to taipei for my study.

Ive been reasoning that im going to meet my net girlfriend in taiwan so i need to go , I know shes hurt. but she dont know its killing me more inside, Hurting her is my Biggest regret ><

We dont hav communication for almost one year, But eventhough, I still visit all her accounts, everythng. her Msn and her sites. Im missing her so much >< but what hurt me most i cant even tell her how much i missing her..>< And im thinking if she aso think of me ? Do she miss me like i Do ?

Destiny is playing with me I think, All of memories that reminds me of her, always plays on my mind, all our memories always flashback,

2 Week past. shes dating someone,Im gettng information from her friends, and they said . Shes fine and now slowly moving on with her new boyfriend.
Seeing their videos and pictures together Killing me so much, Well even that
Im thankful that she easily find someone who can take care of her, im thankful that shes happy now, but Im HURT ! T_T really..


After my med train. Ive went back to Korea, I hvnt got any information about her, Since i was busy aso in my studies, and operations,I hvnt think of her so much I think now im slowly moving on. I visit her page again, I saw pics of her and her boyfriend. well now i can say im not hurt so much, AIGO! thanks i think im now move on....

But one Day, February 24,2010 ~ Im walking and going to our Univ parking area, my car was thr so i need to walk through the front campus,suddenly I see someone really familiar. my heat beats so fast, Im thinking maybe i was just imagining..

I SAW HER..i was like SHOCK and Ive been stop from my walking, I saw her going out from a car, followed by a guy whos familiar wit me aso, Its HER AND HER BOYFRIEND.:<

I saw the guy assisting her from going out , He holds her hand tightly, causing me to feel like im killing myself,

I thought she dont know me anymore, But since she look at me straightly to my Eyes.
I know everythng happens to us is still fresh for her, Her boyfriend say greetings to me . and i was like STOP for almost 5 or 6 mins . I just look at her., But she cant look at me now closely. she just bow down ,I respond to him, saying : Annyeong.Banggap Sup Nee da~ with a shaking voice and im hiding the teary eyes.
But he said theyr in hurry, so He just said goodbye. But because of i think my deep emotions im not able to replied him.

They walk away from me, but i know shes watching me behind, I still cant move, I was like Out of my Mind, Till nowww~~! i dont know what im Feeling :(
i thought Ive move on I thought Its over I thought Everythng is Gone and Done :<
But why I am feeling Thiiisssssssss!! ><

IM SO HURRRRT ! reallyyyy !